We All Have Our Doubts

I began writing this post last Friday after finishing the worst week of my whole experience so far. So much happened at school that I was not able to handle everything that I was feeling. Students were being disrespectful, unappreciative, lazy and just plain rude. I started to doubt my abilities as a teacher and educator. I came here for a specific reason to provide education to a place in this world that needs it, but what if the students don't want it? What can you do then?

And so I struggled. A lot. I mean, it's not everyday that stones/rocks are thrown at you by your students. It's not everyday that a student laughs in your face when you try to reprimand them. It's not everyday that students say "F*ck you!" But maybe it is....

Perhaps, my high school experience was too privileged for me to understand that there are a lot of schools stateside that do experience these problems. Damn UHS and DSOA! They didn't prepare me for the reality of a real "American" high school. How was I supposed to know that students usually talk back to their teachers..? Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my high school experience, but it solidifies my feeling that I would not want to teach at a school like the ones I attended. That would be too easy.

But don't get me wrong, I wanted to run for the hills on Friday. I had had it. But thanks to the wonderful support of family and friends and my fellow volunteers, I pulled my chin up and decided to try and wipe the slate clean. I was going to write awesome lesson plans for this week and take my students by storm. And so I am. I will teach these students for the remainder of the year, whether they like it or not. And deep down, I know that a lot of kids actually like it. They really really like. And that feels good.